We found each other in the cosmos, and that was wonderful. That is so much more important than the idea I will see him someday. The way he treated me and the way I treated him, the way we took care of each other and our family, while he lived. That is something which sustains me and it’s much more meaningful. Emily Dickinson Every beat of my heart belongs to you, every ray of sunshine comes from you, and every whiff of air that I breathe, I breathe for you. Unknown Morning without you is a dwindled dawn. That we could be together for twenty years. You are the source of my joy, the center of my world and the whole of my heart. That we could find each other, as Carl wrote so beautifully in Cosmos, you know, in the vastness of space and the immensity of time. That pure chance could be so generous and so kind. There is only one direction left open for me: always towards you, more and more. Every single moment that we were alive and we were together was miraculous-not miraculous in the sense of inexplicable or supernatural. We never trivialized the meaning of death by pretending it was anything other than a final parting. But, the great thing is that when we were together, for nearly twenty years, we lived with a vivid appreciation of how brief and precious life is. I don't ever expect to be reunited with Carl. The tragedy was that we knew we would never see each other again. Carl faced his death with unflagging courage and never sought refuge in illusions. They also frequently ask me if I think I will see him again. “When my husband died, because he was so famous and known for not being a believer, many people would come up to me-it still sometimes happens-and ask me if Carl changed at the end and converted to a belief in an afterlife.

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